


Midnight

by Andwecanmessaround



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-14 22:45:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4582956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andwecanmessaround/pseuds/Andwecanmessaround
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Meet me at midnight. Alone."</p><p>Pearl frowned as the fusion walked away and retreated back into the temple, with no explanation of their quiet request given.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Midnight

"Meet me at midnight. Alone" 

Pearl frowned as the fusion walked away and retreated back into the temple, with no explanation of their quiet request given. In the background, Steven and Amethyst were chasing each other round the kitchen with toy swords. Pearl absentmindedly plucked a mug from the air and set it down gently in the sink after the purple gem accidentally knocked it flying with a sweep of the plastic weapon. The two sheepishly left to continue their game outside

_What could Garnet possibly want to talk to her about?_

A coldness gathered in her stomach. Though things had grown friendlier again between the two after they’d been forced to fuse again, there was still a distance. Steven and Amethyst didn’t realise that gems weren’t raised to be very good at forgiving. On homeworld it wasn’t uncommon for grudges to last millennia. 

Night came and she’d finished tucking Steven into bed before she realised Garnet hadn’t specified a place to meet. Pearl returned to her room anyway and immersed herself in a sword kata she’d learned a few hundred years ago and using a sword she hadn’t practiced with in almost as long. She was clumsy the first few runs through the list of moves, but gradually adjusted to the weight and balance of the weapon, and her movements became increasingly fluid. She’d forgotten completely about the meetup when a red-brown arm hooked over one of the ledges and Garnet pulled herself up onto the large circular podium Pearl stood on.

“You were late.” Garnet said at Pearl’s visible look of confusion, and Pearl realised in horror that she’d stood the fusion up.  


“I didn’t mean to Garnet, I’m so sorry, I just got caught up in…”

“Sounds like you.”  


Pearl cast her eyes down as Garnet sighed and continued, taking a seat with her legs dangling over the edge. “It’s fine, Pearl.”

"Garnet, are we…ok now?” Pearl asked, walking across to sit next to her, leaving a gap between them because Pearl didn’t think she would be able to bear the sight of Garnet flinching, tensing, or worse - physically moving away from her. “We haven’t talked - properly talked I mean - about our fight since that day in the old ship. I know we’ve been better but I feel like you’re still holding back with me. I know I hurt you, and you need time, but is this what it’s going to be like for…ever, for good?” Pearl nearly said _for the rest of Steven’s life_ but stopped herself in time. She didn’t want to bring anyone else into this argument, least of all the young boy who was clearly cut up by everything he’d been through in the last year and a half. When Pearl remembered how carefree he used to be, so eager to be a crystal gem, she ached so much. Garnet and Amethyst probably felt the same, though none of the trio were eager to discuss their failure at parenting very often.

“We’re-” the fusion stopped, expression impenetrable with their eyes hidden behind those shades. “We’re ok Pearl, I just need more time.”  


“I don’t want to pressure you, I just miss my oldest friend.” Pearl managed a small sad smile.  


“Friends,” the fusion said with a strange inflection, fond but sad, as though it were the name of someone close who’d moved far away many years ago. “Friends don’t feel like this.”

“Feel how?”  


“You didn’t feel it when we were fused?”  


Pearl shook her head. “I was too swept up in the rush of being _her_ again after so long, I didn’t really take anything else in apart from how I felt.”

Garnet was silent again.

“Garnet? Do you hate me?”  


The fusion made a strange noise as they breathed in, somewhere between a sob and a laugh. She’d heard Steven make that noise so many times, it seemed odd, such a  noise coming from the 7 foot leader of the crystal gems.

“I thought I did, the first few days. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I was so angry. I’ve never felt like that before, I’d been so happy, the happiest I felt in a long time. And then you just ruined it all. To know you’d been using me when you were fusing with me, to know you only cared about making yourself stronger.”  


Garnet trailed off again, and once more the only sound in the room was that of the wateerfalls flowing from underneath them to crash far below against the surface of the huge lakes in Amethyst’s room - which were getting far too deep Pearl would have to remember to reverse the flow at some point. Pearl almost started babbling just to fill the silence but could tell the fusion was visibly troubled and in thought. Garnet had something deeper on her mind, and Pearl didn’t want to derail the bigger gem or make her decide not to trust Pearl with this secret, so she forced herself not to say a word, even though she wanted nothing more to grab Garnet’s arm and yell at the fusion that _of course Pearl cared about her! how could Garnet possibly think Pearl didn’t care about her?_  

Yes Pearl had lied about the reason for their fusion, but it was the fact she was fusing _specifically with Garnet_ that made her so happy, on top of the strength. Fusing with Opal made her stronger too, but it didn’t come with the rush of love and support that Sardonyx did. Even though rationally Pearl knew Garnet would never return Pearl's feelings for her, fusing with Sardonyx allowed a tiny - foolish - part of Pearl's brain to pretend that she did. 

Garnet rubbed her eyes and the bridge of her nose under the visor and drummed the floor with her fingers as she looked at Pearl. The smaller gem looked at her and nodded in what she hoped was an understanding and attentive manner and the fusion visibly steeled themselves before continuing.

“For me, fusing with you was something I avoided for a long time, because the last time we formed Sardonyx before the communication tower, I realised fusing with you felt different to fusing with Rose or Amethyst. I thought you could feel it too - how could you not? I’ve never been able to hide things through fusion. Even Amethyst figured it out when I fused with her afterwards and she’s…Amethyst.”  


Pearl suddenly felt both very warm, and lighter than air, as if she might float away any moment. At the same time she tried to rationalise what the other gem was saying as something else, not to get her hopes up.

“Rose knew what I was feelingeven without having to fuse with me. She told how forming Rainbow Quartz felt to her after the first few times, when she finally realised you loved her deeply. I knew how you felt about her, and how loyal you were to her back then, so I understood why you never mentioned it. You only had eyes for Rose so of course you hadn’t realised. But fusing with you was too painful after that.”

Pearl was crying by this point, eyes misted up to the point the whole room was a grey blue blur with no distinguishable gaps except for the brightly coloured contrasting shape of Garnet. She wished she had shades to hide her face like the taller gem did, she must think Pearl pathetic weeping so openly. Or not. As Pearl blinked the world back into focuse she was Garnet was tearing up too. Though her head was tilted back toward the high misty white ceiling in an attempt to stop them, a few tears had escaped and run down Garnet’s cheeks to leave translucent tracks, as drops of light leaked off her sharp jaw and onto her thighs. 

Since Rose’s death Garnet had become so stoic, she’d only seen the fusion cry a couple of times, and all of those tears were reserved for Steven. She wasn’t sure if Garnet would appreciate Pearl’s old method of comforting her but figured it was worth a try. Pearl hesitantly shuffled a little closer and offered a hand, which Garnet twined her own fingers through without looking at Pearl, but her hand squeezed the smaller gem’s gratefully.

“But then we fused Pearl. So many times. I loved it, but I loved that brief second before fully fusing and defusing even more, when we weren’t quite Sardonyx, but we weren’t quite you and me. And I thought the joy we both felt meant you were finally feeling like I felt, it was perfect. I guess we were” Garnet hummed “…I’m not sure what gems would call it, other than illegal. Steven would call it that thing humans do…courting?”  


Pearl hadn’t realised you could feel both elated and heartbroken at the same time.

“Every time I look at you, I feel like you saw how I felt and you didn’t care. Fusing with you meant _everything_ to me, but to you it was just a tool,” Garnet turned to face Pearl “and if fusing is nothing to you, then what am I to you? A machine?”  


“No. You’re Garnet,” Pearl said, impulsively stroking her thumb across Ganet’s cheek to remove the tears and surprising herself with her own boldness. “Garnet I’m so so sorry.”  


“You keep saying that but…I don’t know. It hurts to look at you, and I keep waiting for it to go away but it won’t.”

“Garnet, why didn’t you say something? We could’ve talked about this. I mean, you may be right about me being entirely wrapped up in Rose, she’s been-” she forced the word out and the two both flinched as she said “dead- for a while now.”  


“Neither of us have ever exactly been very good at talking.”   


“ _I’ve_ never been good with talking. You just don’t talk.”  


“Because I’m not very good at talking.” Garnet let go of Pearl’s hand to cross her arms.  


“I guess I never thought of you as awkward,” Pearl admitted “you always seem so cool and in control. I just thought you were quiet because you were well…mysterious for lack of a better word, I always feel like a fool in front of you because I say the wrong thing or talk too much and I start rambling about unimportant stuff instead of what I should be talking about and - I’m doing it right now!” Pearl said, flushed a vivid cyan colour and burying her head in her hands. She forced herself to say the next sentence out loud, despite the fear of how the other gem would react. Garnet had been completely honest with Pearl and she was owed the same in return. 

“I thought all those feelings came from me and you didn’t say anything because you weren’t interested in my crush.”

“Seriously?”  


“Yes.”   


There was a brief silence and then Garnet started laughing, Pearl giggled too though she wasn’t sure why, and the laughter stopped as suddenly as it started.

“We’re a mess.” Garnet shook her head, still shaking slightly with left over mirth.  


“I know. But at least we’ve finally been open with each other about everything.”  


She was suddenly hyperaware of Garnet’s presence as the revelations of their conversation fully sank in, the heat of her body - always a couple of degrees warmer than the surrounding air - just millimeters away, the huskiness in her voice as the fusion wryly replied,

“And we didn’t even have to fuse.”  


The smooth curve of her grin (Pearl quickly averted her gaze away from the other gem’s lips to stare at her own knees instead). Pearl was consumed with the desire to touch the other gem even in some fleeting way. But things that had come naturally before, like holding onto her arm or even the handholding of a few minutes ago, suddenly seemed inappropriate now. As if it would be more intimate.

“Pearl,” Garnet said, voice fraying slightly “can I kiss you?”  


Pearl abandoned all attempts at politeness as she climbed into Garnet’s lap and wrapped her arms around her neck. She captured Garnet’s lips in a kiss that was as slow and gentle as it was passionate.

There was no urgency, no secrecy, just the two of them, together at last.

**Author's Note:**

> This was all written in mostly one go (it's had a little editing during the jump from tumblr to here but it's half one in the morning and my eyes are very tired so I probably missed stuff) so sorry about any grammar/spelling errors!


End file.
